Jewels Entry 2

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I can not begin to describe the amount of emptiness that fills me more and more each day. Everything begins to seriously become a blur to me as I continue through life. Time doesn’t seem to end, but I need it to end.

Matthew’s here for me, but that doesn’t mean much. I mean, sure I love him and yes, he makes me happy, but he’s not filling the hole I have inside my heart and soul. No one can and no one ever will. I hate to look at others and have to deal with them. Everyone is managing to get on my nerves. I’ve been staying at Matt’s place for the past few days, sitting in his “recording” studio, which really is just a room with a nice setup and sound proof walls. I keep picking up his guitar and attempting to play, but I can’t play right anymore.

I wish there was a way out of this pain, this fuzz that’s taking over my life. Well, besides the obvious, I wish there was some other way then simply ending it…

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