Jewel’s Entry 1

Main Channel | Gaming Channel | Vlog Channel | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Tumblr

(Disclaimer: The following is written in person of a character I created; Jewel, for a novel series I had in mind. Thus, this is all fake and not really me talking)

I have no idea how things changed so quickly. My mother looks to me in shame for how and who I’ve become. The only thing that’s changed is my mood lately. I mean, having my father murdered in front of me can only do one person so much harm, right?

My days have just been dim, I feel like a burden if I try to even remotely act like myself. So what can I do? I can’t dance around and be silly, I can’t even try to find ways to make myself happy or she thinks I have a cold heart to my fathers recent death.

I sit in my room, staring at the walls and ridiculous things found on the internet, and hush the voices I’m beginning to hear in the back of my mind. I can’t stand living here and being watched by my mother. I want to break free from all this hell. I no longer have my father, possibly the ONLY man who I ever looked up to and enjoyed spending time with. My mother and I were never close, and now we’re just growing further and further apart.

I can’t go a day now, without thinking about just ending it. Driving to the store to pick up my mother some things she needs, I can’t help but think of swerving the car a little bit, just enough to happen to drive off the bridge and into the water.

I have no idea what to say, how to say it or anything of the sort. But I know that I hate how I feel inside and how I feel that anything I do, I will be judged by. My heart and mind is no longer strong and thus, I can not take nor handle what I used to be able to anymore. My mother has weakened me along side dad passing.

What can I do…

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Main Channel | Gaming Channel | Vlog Channel | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Tumblr