Category Archives: Blogs – Poetry
Staring blankly toward the ceiling
Waves begin to rise
The Oceans wrath consumes me,
As my eyes haze to white
The storm stirs,
Whirling around me
Crashing against my side,
Tossing me into its deep abyss
Water fills my lungs
My touch begins to fade
And just as I gasp for breath
The room comes back, the Ocean fades
Right when I thought my path and mind was finally clearing from this haze that’s unfortunately trailed along side me for far too long, it thickens around me, constricting me yet again. I need to truly sit and listen to what my heart says, what my heart longs for aside from love and comfort in another’s arms. What is it want for myself?
A difference. Strength. Confidence. All in all, happiness with what it is I’m doing. I want to be able to wake up every day and know that in some way, I’m positively impacting someone, anyone in this world. Even with the slightest difference or the tiniest impact, I want to at least do something, even if it’s barely a scratch.
And what does my heart crave? The arts and love. I long to sing my heart out, dance and release all which fills me in so many different ways. I want to truly be consumed by the passion that flows through my heart and viens.
So what holds me back? Perhaps the fear of changing something which I feel comfortable with, perhaps just the fear of losing myself yet again, the fear of change in general, or is it the fear of being completely unhappy with the outcome?
Regardless, I need to release myself from this haze, release my heart and soul and allow it, allow me to forget it all and just go. Go without turning back, without looking back. Instead of waiting for love to sweep me off my feet, I want to be able to go forth and take control of my own heart rather easily swayed by others. I do nothing but fantasize and dream of all the things I wish to strive for.
It’s time for me to make that difference for myself, break through this endless haze and go.
You’re beautiful just as you are. You do not need to change for anyone. You are born the way you are and you should never feel like you need to change it. You’re beautiful in your own way. Stand proud of who you are and how you are, love yourself and love the world around you. Be strong, hold onto life and cherish all that you have.
Women, you are beautiful and do not need to compare yourself to models, shake your ass and disrespect yourself and other women just to have men like you, look at you, and to be accepted. And men, you do not need to be tough and hide how you really act to be accepted. We should all accept one another just as we are.
Love yourself. Tell yourself that you’re beautiful, because you are. I know it and you know it deep down.
You are beautiful.
The dew, lingering on her skin as she walks through the forest, alone. Her body is there, but it is empty. Her soul is vacant, floating in a land unknown to man. Her body moves, branches scratching her skin as she goes. The mist gathers around her, following her, lingering on her cold skin. Feeding off of the life she once had. Darkness closing in on the day, seizing any cheer within the air. Being as her soul is gone, her body will be taken soon as well. The mist and darkness together will blend, creating a deadly force beyond anyones power to withstand it’s strength, seizing all it pleases. Her body, as the mist lingers, is it’s target. It’s only a matter of time. Walking through these woods can not save her. She’s far from the outskirts, far from hope, from safety. There’s no escape for her and her body. The mist has her.
I am just a girl. I’m trying to find me. Trying to find a path which suits me best and flows the way I’d like. I am lost, confused. I am dazed and clouded by depression as I stand bare foot in the dirt. Soaking in the world around me, I feel filled with life, yet held, locked in place with no where to go.
I am just a girl. Broken and lost in the waves of life.
I’m not happy where I am
I’m not happy where I stand
I’m not happy as I stand across the street looking at you
A winding road lay before me
Marked and torn from the years passed
I travel, bare footed and raw
Completely venerable and broken
Drums banging in my ears with a faint ringing in the distance. I can no longer grasp the senses I once held so closely. Its as though I’m standing in a crowd that won’t stop trying to talk over one another. Louder and louder, the voices grow and my mind begins to feel more and more like it’s going to explode. I’m watching people run and move about, fast paced, as though running from a wild train. It’s so loud to the point where you can barely hear anything at all, becoming nothing but a blur.
My mind goes to prove it is the wild train, constantly in motion, unable to grab traction of the tracks beneath it. It won’t stop, it can’t stop. There’s far too much surrounding me, far too many things triggering different emotions and thoughts to the point where I can’t even handle the amount of pressure that’s somehow being applied to my brain. It’s impossible for me to hear anything, not even my own self, speaking, trying to scream to myself on what it is I need to do. My body moves without me commanding it to, leading me somewhere, who knows where.
It’s to the point where I feel as though at any given moment, my mind will truly explode, my body will halt, my face will dim, and almost as though I was turned off, I will fall to the ground unknowing of anything from there on out.
There’s no emergency break, there’s no escape. Some point, now or later, this train, my mind, will just crash and everything will fall to pieces.
Video Form – http://www.pirategrayson.com/senses-killed-video/
I can’t fight this feeling inside of me, ramming through my head each and every day. Energy lays completely diminished at the bottom of my soul, leaving me feeling heavy and as though I can not continue picking up my feet to walk. I can’t think with this fog that’s been with me for far too long. I know I must change something, I know I must make a difference for myself and lord do I want to. However, what can I do and how can I defeat this little monster that’s been created within my soul which only continues to dampen me each and every day.
No one can decide nor pin point where and why this whole monster has come to be, I can’t either. My procrastination only worsens it and my heart sinks more and more. I feel it a burden to glance into the mirror, take a photo, let alone record any type of video to share with the world.
Yet I want to break free from this feeling, to escape this living hell I somehow managed to create for myself over the past few years. But how…