A Difference.

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Right when I thought my path and mind was finally clearing from this haze that’s unfortunately trailed along side me for far too long, it thickens around me, constricting me yet again. I need to truly sit and listen to what my heart says, what my heart longs for aside from love and comfort in another’s arms. What is it want for myself?

A difference. Strength. Confidence. All in all, happiness with what it is I’m doing. I want to be able to wake up every day and know that in some way, I’m positively impacting someone, anyone in this world. Even with the slightest difference or the tiniest impact, I want to at least do something, even if it’s barely a scratch.

And what does my heart crave? The arts and love. I long to sing my heart out, dance and release all which fills me in so many different ways. I want to truly be consumed by the passion that flows through my heart and viens.

So what holds me back? Perhaps the fear of changing something which I feel comfortable with, perhaps just the fear of losing myself yet again, the fear of change in general, or is it the fear of being completely unhappy with the outcome?

Regardless, I need to release myself from this haze, release my heart and soul and allow it, allow me to forget it all and just go. Go without turning back, without looking back. Instead of waiting for love to sweep me off my feet, I want to be able to go forth and take control of my own heart rather easily swayed by others. I do nothing but fantasize and dream of all the things I wish to strive for.

It’s time for me to make that difference for myself, break through this endless haze and go.

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